Session #45: Wheat Do You Want From Me? Or, If You Can't Take the Wheat, Get Out of the Kitchen.*

What can I tell you about wheat beers? I don't know. I'll think of something.

I can tell you my favorite wheat beer off the top of my head. Lots of beers use wheat, but we're talking about beers that we think of as wheat beers, right? So we're not counting lambics, or Rochefort with its wheat starch, etc. Mine's the Saisis from Ellezelloise. It doesn't have orange peels or coriander or chamomile or any of that nonsense. But it's got wheat and it's got generous hop bitterness, and it's dry as a bone. Very refreshing. And it's more like a traditional saison, in my mind, than the same brewery's Saison 2000.

(I can also tell you what I just learned from the Ellezelloise website. The tasting café is closed until April 30, 2011, while they construct a new building. The old one was one of the most visitor-friendly in Belgium, as I wrote in a recent article for DRAFT. No word yet on whether the new one will still include a view of the brewing kit. I'll let you know.)

Or I can tell you that one of the better beers available in Costa Rica is Paulaner Hefe-Weissbier (pictured). It's surely one of the sexiest (come on, just look at her!). As a bonus, it comes in half-liter bottles. Luckily we have half-liter glasses. And then I get to re-use the bottes for homebrew. That almost makes it worth $5 a pop. Yikes.

I can tell you that Boulevard Unfiltered Wheat is hugely popular in Missouri and its neighboring states. Hugely popular, as far as craft beer goes anyway. Therefore geeks tend to underrate it or ignore it altogether. Until one day they mature, they come back around to it, they fend off the lemon wedge, and they discover one of the region's great session beers at 4.4% strength. It's lemony on its own, bready, dry, and it practically mows the lawn for you.

I can also tell you to order the wheat crust at Shakespeare's. With pepperoni and pineapple. Do it.

*I dedicate today's brief title to Arn, a pun aficionado.